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CHESS
BEAST NEEDS YOU!!!
Tell
us...
* How to beat the chess habit
* Your one-line chess book reviews
* Players who always draw - why do they bother ?
* Your unusual tournament rituals
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We have
another lightly toasted and buttery copy of the latest Kingpin Chess Magazine
to give away. To win it simply tell us your ideas for making chess more exciting.
Email
entries, including your address (!), to:
pawnpusher
Closing
date for entries is 27th October 2002. The winning entry, and the best of the
rest, will appear here next month.
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The website
for the remake of "The Four Feathers" film includes a cute battle chess
variant called "Battle For The Sudan". Check it out here.
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The
Tan Argus III Interstellar Chess Tournament
Forget
Kasparov, Kramnik, Deep Blue, Fischer and all those other amateurs! Samuel E.
Mist is the real deal!
Check out his story here
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The
Chess Nudist
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photo
courtesy of Dave Wolz
(Alekhined for family viewing)
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Dave
Wolz loves his chess.
He also loves going naked.
So, what better way to combine both interests than by driving to tournaments all
over the states wearing nothing but a smile, and outstanding facial hair.
PawnPusher
reader Matt Nemmers takes up the story...
"In my home
state of Iowa, we have a fellow who plays in tournaments quite frequently all
over the state. He shows up barefoot -- even in December -- wearing red shorts,
a t-shirt, and sporting bright-red, pseudo-Elvis style, pork-chop sideburns.
He's fanatical about not wearing shoes. "Haven't worn them since Christmas
Eve, 1986 when my car broke down and I had to walk to call for a ride", he
told me when I inquired about his lack of footwear.
I didn't realize how crazy this guy was until I happened to be watching The Daily Show with Jon
Stewart on Comedy Central on February 21, 2002, when I had what alcoholics refer
to as "a moment of clarity".
Apparently, this genius drives, not only all over the state, but all over the
country to chess tournaments butt-naked. In 2001, he clocked over 15,000 miles
driving to tournaments in his birthday suit, and his goal for 2002 is to get 20,000
miles under his belt. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)
His story has appeared in both The Des Moines Register and The New York Times,
making it increasingly difficult for us "normal" chess players to shake
the reputation guys like him have fashioned for us."
Fascinated
by this unlikely quest, we went looking for a photo of the man himself.
We
found a lot more than we bargained for.
Unfortunately,
this being a cuddly, puppy-loving, pot pourri scented, family website, we can't
link you to what we found. But if you really must follow this tale to its hairy
x-rated conclusion, you're over 18, and you haven't just eaten, his Yahoo member
name is Knee_Padded_Cruiser. We did warn you though!
Postscript:
We emailed Mr Wolz to ask him about his quest. Apparently he has reached his 20,000
mile target and is now gunning for 25,000.
Q.
Do you ever play chess naked, or do you get dressed again at the venue?
A. "The tournament sites i play at would not be happy if i played
naked so don't. I usually wear shorts and a tank top in warm weather, sweats in
cold. I have played chess naked with friends, wherever i can, and they are naked
usually too.
I am always barefoot regardless of whatever else i may be wearing. i will not
participate in a tournament if they don't allow bare feet."
Q.
What's your favorite opening?
A. "I take it you mean chess opening!
I open with d4, and play a variety of defenses with black, usually the accelerated
dragon against e4 and some of the lines with d5-c6 against d4, or sometimes the
englund gambit (1. d4, e5) which gets into some wild games. I am rated in the
1600s."
He
also asked me if I drive naked.
As a cyclist living in a very conservative retirement town, that could be painful
for me and dangerous for everybody else in many ways! But, if any Chess Beast
readers are into this kind of malarky I'm sure Dave would love to hear from you.
For
making the chess scene a stranger, funnier, and slightly more disturbing place,
we salute you Dave Wolz!
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Thanks to the people
who entered last months prize competition (all 4 of you!). The answers we received
were...
If
chess computers ruled the world...
"...we'd
be the ones enslaved in boxes trying to solve the damn game."
Samer Adra
"...Kasparov
would need to find a new job"
Dean Hightower
"...we'd
all be pawns"
Rick Martinson
...and the winner,
chosen by Kingpin editor Jon Manley "for industry as much as quality"
was Graham Moore with...
"...
the UK would be en prise
... there would be more war games
... Kasparov would be a political prisoner
... there would be a seedy pawn shop of chess variants in every town and
city
... the education system would improve
... we would never run out of batteries
... buses and trains would follow a system of LEDs to their destinations
... WWIII would be known as an all-play-all
... nerds would be cool"
Congratulations
Graham, a copy of the latest Kingpin magazine is on it's way.
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| One
Line Chess Book Reviews |
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Bruce Pandolfini's
Traps and Zaps:
"An electrifying book"
Nunn's Chess openings:
"Nunn of my openings were in it - might explain my 329 ELO rating!"
Basic Chess Endings - Reuben Fine:
"or "How to Resign""
Thanks to 'Huron
Chess'
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Vladimir
Kramnik
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Louis
Theroux
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Vlad
the Impaler
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Alternative
UK interviewer
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suggested
by Ron Canter
| Amazing
and Untrue Chess Facts |
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Q. Tal said
on losing to Fischer 'Its hard to fight against Einstein's theory'. What did he
mean by this?
A. He was
talking about the relative shape of the chess board which actually isn't flat
but saddle shaped. Your eyeball is round, making the board appear flat.
thanks to PJDBAD
on the rec.games.chess.misc newsgroup.
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A search and destroy
attack virus for those cowards who disconnect as soon as their queen is taken
during an Internet chess game. The virus hunts them down and wipes out their hard
drives.
thanks to Graham
Blackshaw.
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